Map of the FRIENDS program in different countries

復力, kia kaha, kimmoisuus, motståndskraft, resiliência, odpornost…

In whatever language it is said, Resilience is still the buzz word in academic circles across the world.  As the focus of our recent International FRIENDS training conference, the ideals of resilience were shown to  translate across all borders.

The Pathways team were fortunate enough to host academics, government officials, teachers, psychologists, and others, from as far afield as Japan, Ireland, Mexico, Slovenia, Finland, and many more.  This amazing group of  people convened to discuss how the FRIENDS and Adult Resilience  programs  function in their respective countries and languages. We were also able to catch up on the latest editions of  our resilience programs.

Friends Conference

Hosted at the picturesque State Library of Queensland, the FRIENDS Conference also allowed us to focus on our own personal resilience in coping with what life throws at us.

When we  are helping others, whether  it is in the role of clinician, teacher, parent, friend, or colleague, it is extremely important that we look after ourselves first.  At Pathways, we regularly use the analogy of the airplane announcement to assist in explaining this concept:

“..passengers should always fit their own mask before helping children, the disabled, or other persons requiring assistance”

This applies to us all regardless of  profession or circumstance.

Looking after ourselves, not only allows us to be the best that we can be, but it can be the most valuable help that we can give those around us as well.  We are in a much better position to help others when we are coping well.

So I would like to challenge anyone reading this  to take some time and put  in place the elements of resilience in your own life, starting with our sleep, what we eat and how active we are. Then incorporating relaxation and  mindfulness into our everyday life and evaluating the way we see our self and the world around us, so that we can develop more helpful ways of thinking. And  finally finding effective ways of addressing the challenges that come our way, and will continue to come throughout our lives.

“Now please fold away your tray tables, sit back, relax and prepare for the turbulence that might come your way.”

Go, be resilient!

If you need a bit of help, come see us at Pathways in West End or Contact us for some more ideas.

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Positive psychology is more of a preventive and pro-active measure. Traditionally people have sought psychologists to help cope with misfortune or other incidents in their life. Positive psychology focuses on how people can get more out of life and fill more fulfilled and happy, positive psychology helps drive a happy mind.

Having a happy mind is fast becoming a focus for a lot of people, and they are turning to positive psychology to achieve a happy and more fulfilling life. There are many techniques, practices and philosophies which can help people build a happy mind through positive psychology.

Society is growing at a rapid rate, the pressure and stress of a working life and the sheer complexity and distraction of technology can leave people exhausted and unfulfilled. Now more than ever is is important for people of all ages to build resilience and a happy mind to help combat the depression, anxiety, anger and stress that comes with the fast paced rat race of life.

If you or a loved on would like to start building a happy mind, or if you have any questions regarding happy minds or positive psychology please do not hesitate to contact Pathways. We offer an array of clinically proven Friends programs for children and adults which can help build a happy mind and are recognized internationally. It is also possible to get medical rebates on most services offered at Pathways, our friendly staff will help you out with any questions.

Positive thinking, healthy eating and exercise all contribute to a happy mind, the mind and the body are linked and if you have a happy body then a happy mind is soon to follow.

Happy minds can also be made by cognitive restructuring, this can be achieved by affirmations and positive self talk that will actually re-wire the neurons in your brain to help you feel happier, it is literally a tune up for your mind and will make you happier.

Alcohol and other drugs can lead to making your mind not so happy, alcohol especially is a depressant, and if you drink to much it can leave you feeling flat in both your body and your mind. That being said, a drink here and there is not a terrible thing – it is good to unwind and reward yourself.

A happy mind can be achieved if you manage to get enough sleep, if your sleep is sufficient and is not disturbed you will feel more energized and refreshed in the morning. If you have trouble getting to sleep try some relaxation exercises, simply clear your mind and focus on your breathing – its harder than it sounds but if you train your mind to clear itself of thoughts then it is much easier to relax at night time.

There are many benefits of having a happy mind, the mind and body are linked and if your mind and body are happy you will live longer, have more productive and less stressful days, have more successful relationships with others. A happy mind can also lead to better physical and mental health and also help eliminate fear, anxiety, stress and depression.

If you would like help working toward a happy mind, or you would like more information please do not hesitate to contact Pathways.

Happy Minds

With the first quarter of 2013 nearly down there is much to celebrate – and much to look forward to – for the year ahead.

The first few months of 2013 have seen the halls of Pathways’ warmed by the smiles of many Brisbane families, both new and familiar. We are fully settled at our West End premises and the feedback from clients about the new location has been overwhelmingly positive. It is great to be based here in Brisbane and I always look forward to returning our balmy State capital when I am travelling abroad.

Recently, I travelled to Malaysia to deliver the keynote address at the International Baccalaureate Asia Pacific Conference. It was great to reach out to the 1,000 odd delegates from IB schools in Asia Pacific Region. The delegates came from a number of countries ranging from Mongolia to New Zealand. Between speaking with conference delegates and fielding questions in the workshop that I held, the message is clear – schools around the world are eager to embrace resilience-building tools that promote social and emotional intelligence, positive relationships and that also reduce bullying. It is my belief that the FRIENDS Programs can benefit each and every person irrespective of culture, socio economic standing or academic ability. The international scale of FRIENDS is based on fostering strong, positive relationships with like-minded individuals around the world. I look forward to continuing to cultivate these ties and, in doing so, expose more and more children, families and schools to the FRIENDS Programs.

One of my fellow speakers has written some kind words about my presentation here.

“[Paula] spoke from the heart and I think she touched the hearts of many” -  Dr. Vandana Lulla, India

In keeping with the global flavour of FRIENDS, it is with great enthusiasm that my team and I will welcome over 40 international delegates to Brisbane later this month. The International FRIENDS Training Conference will take place from the 29th of April to the 3rd of May at the State Library of Queensland. It is wonderful to have such a wide variety of countries represented at the Conference and it will be my pleasure to bring them all up to speed on the latest editions of the Programs. I also look forward to attending presentations on FRIENDS-related research from Ireland, Japan and Mexico during the Conference. Senior members of the New Zealand Government, as well as the Federal Government of Australia will also be in attendance to learn more about FRIENDS.

Finally, a little something closer to home. My team and I would like to welcome a new clinician to the Pathways’ family. A psychologist joins us from New Zealand and brings with him a range of experience in the New Zealand mental health system. I believe that he will be a great addition to our team of highly-skilled and compassionate clinicians.

I leave you with one of my favourite quotes from the Persian poet, Rumi -

 Why should I stay at the bottom of a well, when a strong rope is in my hand?

2013 is already looking to be a very exciting year for the Pathways team and our clients. Pathways has relocated to West End, we are receiving excellent feedback from countries that have implemented the FRIENDS Program in their National School Curriculum, Strong Not Tough Adult Resilience Program now runs parallel to the children’s groups, and becoming an Accredited Trainer has never been easier or cheaper.

Over the Christmas break, Pathways relocated premises from Woolloongabba back to West End, where we first started more then 10 years ago. The new space allows us to run more groups, in a more friendly, boutique environment. Pathways families have also been very positive about the new location, with comments ranging from the ease of access, to the free parking surrounding the wellbeing centre and its position close to family filled activities at South Bank. Before and after group sessions families can enjoy the Gallery of Modern Art, Queensland Museum, Holly Park and the large number restaurants with cheap eats.

Pathways new address

The FRIENDS Program implemented within New Zealand, Ireland and Canada National Schooling Curriculum is receiving outstanding feedback. The programs have been running in these countries schools for many years, but have now been adopted at a large scale and have been received very well by their communities.

Thanks to the help of the amazing Dr Julia Gallegos, the FRIENDS program is now being delivered in all Mexican Orphanages and is a massive success. This is due to the tremendous effort and hard work from Julia. Great work!

Pathways is excited to announce that until the end of this financial year, the acclaimed Adult Resilience program Strong Not Tough will run parallel to children’s groups for FREE. I believe that when children participate in the FRIENDS groups, parents benefit from sharing the experience and learn the positive skills of resilience for themselves and their family. I like to use the metaphor of airlines asking parents to place their oxygen masks on in an emergency first, and then tend to their child. This same principle applies – parents and grandparents need to participate so they fully understand the program and can help with their child’s resilience. So don’t just sit in the waiting room or get a coffee when your child is in a session, participate in the Strong Not Tough program and get involved in the children’s resilience skills FREE OF CHARGE!

Become an accredited Teacher/School to deliver the FRIENDS Resilience Programs today! Until the end of this financial year, we are providing one day of training, for TWO programs, at a heavily discounted rate of $400. Training for all four FRIENDS Programs can be undertaken in two days for $600. Teachers and Allied Health Professionals can undertake this training and be accredited to deliver the programs for three years. This training will give professional development points in two programs, in one day.

The FRIENDS group sessions are now running after hours and on weekends, and intensive daily programs running throughout school holidays. The programs help children of all ages and families prevent internet addiction during the holidays, sibling rivalry, boredom and behaviour problems, amongst other benefits. For example, for Pre School aged children the Fun Friends programs teach how to be brave and look people in the eye, how to be the boss of your feelings and have green thoughts.

Dr Paula Barret holding a Fun Friends session

For adolescents in High School the Friends Youth Program teaches teenagers how to chose positive friendships, compromise with parents and teachers, regulate emotions in appropriate ways, empathise with other peoples emotion including animal empathy, develop organisational and study skills, learn how to be confident with public speaking and presentations, and other important social and emotional skills. These skills will help your children to be equipped with the positive coping skills to participate in schooling years to the best of their ability.

Each session of the Friends program, employs three qualified adults for every group of 10 participates (children or youth) this is a lot of individual attention that will be paid to your child and family.

We have received excellent feedback (such as): “I cant wait until Easter so we come back to do a follow up. I learnt so much and had so much fun. I wish we could do it ever week during the school year” J Youth Group participant January 2013.

Support from parents has been phenomenal: “I have done lots of holiday programs with my children. This is by far the best. My husband, daughter and I learnt so much. This is a great start to a positive year to our family and our daughters schooling life” L January 2013.

With the recurring floods in QLD, the resilience programs are optimal and help in multiple ways with such challenges as unpredictable natural disasters.

Learning resilience is the best gift you can give your family to cope in positive ways for any challenge that comes your way! FRIENDS Programs are the most useful way of learning resilience, so please get involved today!

Please contact us as pathways if you would like more information on how we can help you and your family “be the best you can be”.

Contact Details:

07 3391 6866

training@pathwayshrc.com.au

groups@pathwayshrc.com.au

Suite 7/88 Boundary Street, West End QLD 4101

Have a great weekend!

Cheers

Paula Barrett

1 February 2013

A key part of making your holidays as stress free as possible is to actively work to prevent family conflict. The time we spend with our loved ones throughout the school year is limited by work, school and extra-curricular activities, and all too often is spent distracted by other responsibilities rather than being aware in the present moment. Why then are the holidays burdened with conflict rather than thought of as the precious gift of time with our loved ones? This holiday period dedicate your family’s time to making small positive changes and getting to better know one another.

It has been said that approximately 90% of New Year’s resolutions are not fulfilled. All too often our resolutions stay the same from year to year, or to lose weight, join a gym, or to work less. Whilst we hope that this will be the big year we will achieve our dreams, what makes this year different from the last 5, 10, or 15 that our resolutions have fallen flat.  The best part of setting goals is trying your best to achieve them, so why do we so often set ourselves up to fail? The key to making resolutions that stick is that instead of resolving to achieve your ultimate goal tomorrow, to break it down into small achievable steps which are more realistic. In their book Small Change (2004), husband and wife team Larry and Susan Terkel provide a guided plan for making changes in your life. Focusing on the areas of health, relationships, work, happiness, and mental well-being, Small Change emphasises that rather than setting out to achieve overwhelming and unrealistic goals for the future, we are best to set frequent, small goals which are more easily achieved and add up to significant long term changes.Remember when you first learnt to drive. We did not just jump in the car and get onto the freeway. We first learnt the road rules, the setup of the car, and practised with an instructor before even going for our test.  The same process is required when setting goals for our future, setting small, intermediate steps on the way to achieving your end goal. When making goals it is important to reflect on what you are doing now and what would be a small but significant step towards your overall goal that you think you can realistically achieve. Using these skills to make achievable resolutions, you may want to use some of these ideas for you or your family:

• Become more active – As much as we may dream that this year is going to be the year we make that marathon or use that gym pass five times a week, if we haven’t exercised since P.E. in high school these goals might be setting the bar a bit high. Instead why not decide to walk to work or school two days a week? If these places are too far drive only part of the way or ride your bike there. Whilst it is still light and warm on summer nights, try going for a beach walk with your family at sunset to stay active whilst admiring the beauty of nature. Or rather than leaving children to play computer and Xbox games about sports, go to the backyard or park and spend 15 minutes playing soccer or cricket.
• Improve your eating habits – After Christmas parties and family gatherings of over-eating mince pies and drinking too many Boxing Day beers, losing some extra kilos is a frequently made resolution. Rather than focussing on losing weight, instead focus on putting healthy foods into your body. Crash dieting usually lasts a few days until someone at the Friday night staff meeting brings out a cheese platter and Cheezels and then all restricting is out the window. Instead of depriving your body on an unsustainable calorie count, try making small changes at a time. Refined sugars are a false high, providing us with a short burst of energy only to leave us hungry and lethargic soon after. Try making your breakfast a no added sugar meal, including on your morning cereal and in your coffee or tea. If this is something you already do, try including more fresh produce in your diet. In our busy lives there are always reasons to take the fast, easy options with fast food or pre-made dinners; however, notice the difference when you pick up some fresh fruit and vegetables from your local farmers’ market.  With all the new fifteen and thirty minute meal cookbooks available, being time poor is no longer an excuse for unhealthy eating.
• Increase your family happiness – Research shows us that paying attention to positives is one of the biggest predictors of emotional well-being. Positivity is free, so this year give the gift of happiness to your family. Everyday make time to make a positive comment to someone in your family, a friend and a stranger. Being kind to others is not only a gift of happiness to those around you but it is also a gift of happiness we give to ourselves. Even if it is a small smile or a hug, this can lift a person’s mood. At least three nights a week, set aside time for a family dinner for everyone to discuss a positive experience that happened that day. It does not have to be something big, it can simply be that the sun was shining when you woke up. Try and make your positive experience something that happened rather than the absence of a negative (for example instead of “I didn’t make a mistake at work today,” make it “I tried my best at work today,”). This could even be a class activity when students arrive in the morning!
• Be kind to yourself – All to often our harshest critic or taskmaster is not our boss, parents, or partner but in fact ourselves. Make your resolution to do something kind for yourself this year. Whilst many resolutions focus on taking care of our outsides, why not focus on taking care of your insides this year. You might decide to practise yoga once or twice a week to help yourself unwind. Furthermore, the holiday break is a great time to start learning relaxation for yourself and for your family. Five or ten minutes a day to practise some deep breathing or visualisation is not much out of your day to calm your mind and be kind to yourself.
• Give back to others – Whilst the holidays are a happy time for many, for some they can be a lonely and isolating time. The holiday season is the time for giving, so give students and children the gift of learning to give back. This holiday period encourage your students and children to play board games, listen to the life stories, or bring home made food to your local nursing home. Perhaps offer to help out or feed the animals at the local animal refuge. Giving to others does not have to involve spending money; the best gift many people want over the holidays can be your companionship.

Many parents run out of ideas, or money, to entertain their children after the first week of school holidays (if not earlier!). Instead of brainstorming activities or day trips leaving everyone exhausted, why not use this time to work towards your new happier and healthier family. With the extra time you have each day, try working towards practising your new habits outside in nature. The Last Child in the Woods provides strategies to get yourself, your school and your community back to nature. Practise being active on a bushwalk, taking your time to admire the small insects and flowers which people in a rush miss. Or practise noticing positive things at the park, observing the beauty of the outdoors with all of your senses (the smell of the flowers, the sight of a blue sky, the sound of laughter, the taste of fresh air and the feel of grass between your toes). And try being creative in nature, take inspiration from what is around you and practise stillness to feel more calm and peaceful.

If you want to make the most of the holiday period to do something for yourself and your family, Pathways Health and Research Centre is holding holiday intensive programs to build resilience and promote positive health activities. From a new framework, incorporating both adults and children, why not spend 1-2 hours a day learning skills to live a strong and positive life. These programs can help provide your children and adolescents with the social and emotional skills to manage bullying and difficulties related to academic and peer pressures, giving them positive coping skills for the future. And for the first time ever, adult programs are going to be offered in conjunction with all children and adolescent programs to provide skills in resilience, mindfulness and healthy living.

It has been said that new years day is the first blank page of a 365 page book. So make sure yours is a positive one!

The FRIENDS Programs are being taken up all over the world to the benefit of untold numbers of individuals. 2012 has been a very busy year for our team the Programs as we extended our reach to many families and children across New Zealand and Ireland.

Recently, I travelled to Caloundra to deliver a seminar at the Roads to Happiness symposiumhttp://www.roadtohappiness.net.au. The symposium was held in order to raise funds for the victims of the catastrophic tsunami (and subsequent nuclear disaster) that struck Japan last year.

The symposia was organised by Professor Yuki Matsumoto and Dr Susumu Tsukimori and I must thank them for the opportunity to attend and to deliver the keynote speech. The stories shared by some of the Japanese families at the seminar were very moving and are a testament to their resilience and the ability of individuals to form support networks within the family and the community at large.

A special mention must go to Dr  Tsukimori who is a very inspiring member of the community and who has dedicated his life to the wellbeing of others. He has a very adventurous spirit and took a group of us and on a fun trekking adventure up the Glass House Mountains. I would also like to thank Rie Ogino for her great work with the FRIENDS programs.

This year I donated my time to communities in Toowoomba and Goondiwindi in support of the Tie Up the Black Dog Committee’s Kids Health Matters forum. My thanks to Mary Woods who facilitated my trip to Toowoomba and then Goondiwindi. My congratulations go to Mary as the recipient of a Queensland Mental Health Week Achievement Award.

Find out more about the Tie Up the Black Dog initiative at http://tieuptheblackdog.wordpress.com

More recently, I travelled to Sydney on two separate occasions. First was the Tell Someone Who Care Conference http://www.tellsomeonewhocares.com.au followed by the Children’s Healthcare Australasia Conferencehttp://www.thejourneyconference.com.au.

At both conferences I delivered seminars on building resilience in respective communities. I admire the work done by so many allied health professionals around the country for the benefit of disadvantaged children and families. 

Our team believes that the way to move forward is to focus on prevention and resilience building, providing children, parents and teachers with the necessary coping skills to make each community stronger in the face of adversity.

After all, resilience skills are tools that can be learnt at any point in life. These tools have been shown to make a positive difference in the lives of children and adults alike. Stay tuned for more blog posts in the coming weeks.

Here is an article on Friends for Life which appeared in the primary school teachers’ ‘Intouch’ Magazine, in Ireland.

Intouch September 2012 - scroll to page 44 of the pdf (page 61 if you are going by page numbers)

Last week, as part of a suite of youth mental health reforms, New Zealand Prime Minister John Key unveiled plans to roll out the FRIENDS for Life Youth program across all schools, New Zealand wide.

PM Key acknowledged that “more than anyone else, young people will determine the future shape and prosperity of New Zealand”, also recognising the sad reality that “one in five…young people will experience some form of mental health problem during the crucial time that they are transitioning to becoming an adult”.

The New Zealand Ministry of Education notes that the “New Zealand Government has concerns about addressing the growing evidence suggesting that anxiety and depression disorders are among the most common mental health problems affecting New Zealand adolescents.”

Indeed, Australian statistics report alarming similar youth mental illness trends, with suicide taking more Australian lives than all transport accidents combined.

Child and adolescent psychologist, Dr Paula Barrett regards times of transition, such as starting/leaving high school, dealing with family disruptions and developmental and physical changes as precarious and vulnerable times in an adolescents life. She applauds the New Zealand government on their initiative to actively prevent the onset of mental illness in youth. “What a great way to empower youth – with the skill of bouncing back from life’s many challenges”.

The New Zealand Ministry of Education has recognised that “FRIENDS is one of the few effective early intervention and prevention programmes for adolescents that can be used in school settings to prevent anxiety and depression through building resilience. In New Zealand we have identified the need for children and teachers to be taught the learnable skills of resiliency. The FRIENDS programme will support the New Zealand curriculum key competencies for learners; thinking, managing self, relating to others and participating and contributing and supports its vision statement for confident, connected actively involved life-long learners.”

This draws Australian educational practices into light and begs the question, ‘is enough being done to foster social and emotional health in Australian youth?’